I guess that has become a bigger problem with A19 progression system, yeah. Oddly enough, I've found that the best way to get damage early game on insane difficulty is by having a knife build with the burning shaft mod. Bleed+fire dps = much easier to kill zeds and keep yourself safe with stamina but the challenge comes from knowing the range+hitbox on your knife lol
I've experienced jumping in a server on day 100+ and managed to make it ok. I mean, of course I couldnt catch up to the top players' levels, but still managed to "make a living". The secret is to jump on a server with a small (but not scarce) playerbase. Like, 20 players online at its peak, but usually only 8 on average. Go places people dont wanna live.. like the wasteland or snowbiome. And, from my experience, underground bases will work better and I'd advise NO landclaim block. The secret is to hide the entrance.. having it under water or prepare terrain blocks to fill the entrance hole. And a long corridor with traps in case someone finds your base lol
When I used to play mostly online, there were several "wiped" servers. Problem is people will get frustrated if their progress is lost all the time, but I guess you'd have to find one when the wipes fit your liking. Having "reset zones" also help a lot in terms of not having everyone loot everything and you get nothing.
But yes, playing with friends make it a lot easier not to get bored.